Anyways, here's the book so far (which I have planned out a lot)
Prologue
Thump. Thump. Thump. I could see myself swinging an axe. It had been an eternity since i could control myself. The past came rushing back to me. First in random words and scenes, then a whir of memories and later, the dreams. I had been watching the space shuttle landing on TV. Huge crowds had gathered around the landing site. It was NASA's greatest triumph; finding intelligent, sentient extra-terrestrial life forms on a distant planet in the Polaris System. The cheering stops, and I know the crowd, and the rest of the world, are straining to hear those all-important words: the eagle has landed. The words didn't come. I try to skim over the next part. The part where the world finds out that that a life form had come to invade earth. the part where we find out whenever the first "taken", which was the rebels nickname for the ones taken over, or possessed, by the "Snatchers", touched someone, that person would be taken too, and would enter the never-ending dream world I'd been in for a while. The part where the world learned the Snatchers couldn't be stopped. It wasn't long before everyone in that region was taken. I was one of those people. I would later learn that the invasion spread out over the world. That was when, for some reason, I woke up from the dreams you were subject to if you were taken. I couldn't control my body. but I could see, feel, sense anything my Snatcher host did. And as a leader in their host army, it would track the rebels down and "take" them. It was torture watching everyone I had known be killed or taken by my own hands, watching the resistance slowly crumble, and having a part in breaking it. And then finally, taking the last person, seeing the horror on his face as he realized that humanity had died with him, fallen into that deep, dark sleep from which there was no return. But the night after that, I found out how to fight back.
-- Edited by Kyle on Tuesday 4th of October 2011 02:28:51 PM
The prologue is really just like any other part of the book; mine is two or three pages long (I can't recall) but I still think it's rather short.. I don't mean to force you to make it longer or anything, but you could make it better (even thought it's already really good) by adding more description. You know?
Oh, and BTW, why is your profile picture a checkmark?
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"Sticks and Stones will Break my Bones, but Even Through Death I will Withstand the Pain."
I'll look into it later. But yeah, I see what you mean.
It's not... I'm experimenting. This profile picture that I have right now is kind of the opposite of what I want, in a way. (The you watch a show for little girls one, since I'll probably change it later) It's funny, though, and since all but three people (or is it two?) don't share the my little pony obsession, it actually makes sense.
Be more descriptive. I know prologues aren't really supposed to be disgustingly long, but it's always nice to clear the foggy parts up for the readers who don't exactly know what's going on. And the prologue is still a definite part of the book. You always want to read the prologue of a book before you read the book, otherwise some things might be unclear. Take, for example, 48. If you hadn't read the prologue, you may not have any idea what is going on. But if you do read the prologue, you look at the story with a whole new perspective. I'm not hating on your book, I'm merely giving you feedback, I'm criticizing. You must remember though that you do not need to listen to me---I'm not a book critic, and I like the book just the way it is. This is just my perspective.
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"Sticks and Stones will Break my Bones, but Even Through Death I will Withstand the Pain."
I don't either. But I still try and lengthen things up a bit. If you wanted, I could help you try and lengthen it up, I can see a few parts where it could be more descriptive, but then that would kind of turn it into a collaborative book; and this is your book. You know?
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"Sticks and Stones will Break my Bones, but Even Through Death I will Withstand the Pain."
Yes... Kind of. I haven't been writing much lately so as soon as I do I'll try and beef this up a bit. (I mean, come on, our random story based on our characters is longer than both of our books combined). Actually, I think I'll just make the rest of the book longer to make up for the prologue. I'll post what I have of the first chapter. Okay, first chapter is around a fifth of the way done.
-- Edited by Kyle on Tuesday 11th of October 2011 08:11:38 AM
-- Edited by Kyle on Tuesday 11th of October 2011 08:20:03 AM
The snatcher compounds were bases where the snatchers lived when they weren't working. They usually just used buildings already built, mainly universities. They didn't do much but work, though. The snatchers were getting every resource out of the Earth that they could get their hands on. Usually my host would chop wood for around fifteen hours, then it would go up to it's room and instantly fall asleep for another nine hours. They usually just used buildings already built, mainly universities, for their compounds. I wasn't sure what this place was, but it had lots of buildings leading outdoors and more buildings outside. The buildings were gray and drab. Surrounding the compound I was in was a giant desert. I couldn't tell where it ended. There was also a snatcher-made forest. Right by the desert was a huge glass tube. It stretched into the distance. I spent a lot of time wondering what it was. One time, as I was looking at it, a snatcher walked up to it and touched it. Instantly he/it fell limp. I still didn't know what the tube did. It was in the bedroom thing that I discovered I could control myself while my Snatcher host was sleeping. I would lose control again, until the next night, as soon as it woke up. I had been planning an escape for a long time. When my Snatcher host fell asleep, I put the plan into action. It was kind of dumb, but pretty soon I started trying to get other people to notice me, using notes I slipped into their pockets. I could have run out of the compound right then, but there was desert all around and I wouldn't have survived for long. And anyway, I would have gone mad if I was the only person left on Earth. The snatchers hadn't learned how to read yet, so they were oblivious to what my note read. They probably just dumped the notes into the resource converter or something. Hopefully, the people in the mess (I hoped there actually were some) would read the note and meet me. That plan didn't work. No one came. I got desperate. Soon I started randomly ramming myself into snatchers. I was looking for someone that didn't snatch me as soon as I touched them. It didn't matter if I was snatched, I always woke up the next night and looked for someone else to hit.
Be more descriptive. I know prologues aren't really supposed to be disgustingly long, but it's always nice to clear the foggy parts up for the readers who don't exactly know what's going on. And the prologue is still a definite part of the book. You always want to read the prologue of a book before you read the book, otherwise some things might be unclear. Take, for example, 48. If you hadn't read the prologue, you may not have any idea what is going on. But if you do read the prologue, you look at the story with a whole new perspective. I'm not hating on your book, I'm merely giving you feedback, I'm criticizing. You must remember though that you do not need to listen to me---I'm not a book critic, and I like the book just the way it is. This is just my perspective.
Agreed, I think you should beef it up, and what do people look like when their snatched, what exactly happened when the aliens got off the Eagle?
